The next goal is maintaining the self-aware state of mind when exhausted, hungry, and uncomfortable.

     Journal:
     This week started off slow. I stayed up too late writing the last entry here and then didn't have the energy to ride up to see my ol' friend Jason in the morning. I did, however, make it the 12 miles to meet Julie, a young woman that I had been chatting online with for a while. She liked my poetry and that's coooool, so even though I don't really have the time to explore new connections now, I thought I might be able to share some wisdom with her and help her with her troubles. At first she didn't know what to make of me, sweaty and covered in mud as I walked into the Dunkin' Donuts (lol). After we chatted for a while though and walked down the street, something musta made up her mind 'cause she really started digging me. She bought me nachos (sweet!) and started playing with my hair and stuff haha. So a long while ago, I'd of been super pumped about potential physical relations with any gal that seemed interested in me, but I really just wanted to share some wisdom with this girl, so we had a nice chat and that was that. I'm proud of myself for how far I have come. My success here was reassuring to me though as I'll be counting on my charisma at times during my journey. Whether someone likes me or not could be the difference between a warm bed and a roof or a cold night in the rain.
     The week continued slowly and even though I felt like I was using my time wisely to prepare, I could not concretely see those preparations so I started worrying I was procrastinating or something. A couple friends came to visit me and that was nice, which left me feeling inspired. I also saw and said goodbye to my finale mentee, Carlos. I was able to share some wisdom with him which I hope will guide him in the right direction, at least a little bit. He actually started listening to me for once haha.
     Saturday night was a real tipping point though. I got most of my stuff I want to sell onto ebay, I revised my couchsurfing and okc profile, I made a public trip to my first stop Philadelphia, I contacted someone through warmshowers (CS for cyclists), and I started my pack list! All these steps together made me really feel like I was on target. I even bid on this totally cool old compass on ebay!
     Sunday was the St. Patrick's Day Parade. It was unfortunately really cold and I did not dress warmly enough. Living in the moment and achieving a self-aware "with-it" state of mind are difficult to attain when basic needs aren't met. I rode around New Haven for a while just taking in the energy of the city. I was looking for some friends but a lot of people didn't come. Claire did though! So it turned out to be less the gathering of friends I was hoping for and another nice time with Claire. It is so wonderful to have people that bring light and positivity into your life. All we have to do is return that in kind and the world will be a groovy place!


     Reflection:
     The key to controlling our emotions is to know where they come from. When we feel an emotion, it is important to ask ourselves why. Why do we feel this way? Where does this emotion come from? For example, why does it make us angry to see a person ______? Exploring our sub-conscious and finding the answers to why we tick is, I believe, the secret to awakening ourselves.
     There is a certain person I want to become. This is my "ideal self." I want my attitude to be infallible. I want my energy to be limitless. I want to give love freely and openly. However, if I never control my emotions, never learn to push myself, and just do as my body pleases at all times, how will I become this person?
     Human beings are truly capable of accomplishing anything. Chaos and chance play a factor, but nothing has as large an effect on a persons destiny as their own actions. What stops people though from accomplishing their goals is less the world and more themselves. Self-doubt, depression, fear... Imagine if an individual was so in-touch with their own emotions that they could control them consciously? That person could do anything.


     Story:
     So Claire and I headed to a wooded area that I used to explore as a child. Being there was very nostalgic and lots of memories came flooding back. The place was a lot different though. Paths I previously remembered were blocked by overgrowth, there were several tents erected in the woods now, and everything was a whole lot smaller. That being said, the area was unchanged enough to give me very vivid flashbacks.
     I remembered eating mulberries off a tree and raspberries straight from a bush. That was stupendous. I remember swinging on vines from a hill and swinging into a tree. Ouch! I recalled that slowly, over time, I expanded the distance which I would travel into the woods. Every time I crossed a line I had not crossed before, I would feel a mixture of excitement, fear, and wonder. This is where my love of exploring comes from!


     Poetry:
     I revised my okc and cs profiles. Here are a couple lines from them. I think poetry is just taking words and using them in interesting ways. Not that I'm doing anything too interesting with the words here; I just mean to say that poetry has a wide range of definition. Also interesting, when you put something on these profiles, it is specifically for other people to see. Every word, whether people realize it or not, is saying something about you. When I look at profiles of people, I think, "What does this say about who they are?" or "What were they really trying to tell visitors by writing this?" These questions can be applied to whenever we express ourselves to another person, not just online either. We can learn a lot about someone just by watching their actions and how they express themselves. These questions should also be asked of ourselves as well. We can learn a lot about ourselves just by watching our own actions.

     I am on a journey.
     I am exploring places I have never been.
     I am meeting people I have never met.
     I am learning things I never knew.
     I am living my life in a way I have always wanted to,
     but have also been too afraid to.
     I am not afraid anymore.
     I am on my journey!
     ---------------
     I am currently in pursuit of something.
     I do not know what it is but I know it is a great thing.
     My eyes see stars and my hands are my wings.
     My feet are on fire and my legs are impenetrable.
     When I have a goal, nothing will stop me.
     My goal is to cross this country on my bike.
     I'll let you know when I get there.