The Train Went North
Not West
I Needed to See You Both
If I Wrote It I Meant It
If I Said I'd Do It I'm Going To Do It
I'm Complicated and I'm Sorry for that
But I AM a Man of My Word.
If I Said I'd Do It I'm Going To Do It
I'm Complicated and I'm Sorry for that
But I AM a Man of My Word.
No
I'm not really okay
I Need someone to hold me
I Want to be with someone
I Want that person to be You
Now's our chance—I believe
Or are we putting it all away?
If You did already
You didn't let me know
Maybe I Needed The Hope
Yeah
I Needed The Hope
I'm not trying to be Melodramatic
(Even though this is my melodramatic blog)
But when My Love is Broken Trashed in a Ditch and I lay alone in the Wet Cold it Hurts
I don't know what I'd of done without that Hope
You're not a "Fish" I can't—won't—just "get another one"
There's only one of You.
I have unique Love for more than one Lady
But I Love each of You Uniquely
No one was ever Consumable to Me.
I don't Want a New Lover I have all this Love for You and You and I still Love Her even though she treated me Terribly
If I laid with anyone else it'd be a lie.
I'd be using my sister.
I don't want to do that.
I'm all torn up
I don't know how far I'm gonna make it
wtf am I supposed to do?
\
Honestly I don't know how Forest Gump did it
The Negativity is My Responsibility to handle
But these Lonely Nights are Killing me
They say Timing is Everything in Life
But how can I Time Anything when I can't see anything?
I'm operating in a Void and I have been pretty much the whole damn Time
My Heart is Yearning
I can Feel it Calling
I can Feel its Hunger
I came because I Love You and I Want You and I Need You
Whether I'm a Creepy Delusional Stalker Dude
or A Gentlemanly Romantic Warrior of Love
Rests solely and completely upon Your Feelings for Me
So My Actions reflect what You Give and Express to Me
And The Real Actual Feelings I Have for You
No Matter how the Outside World Perceives It/Us/Me
There's more Darkness ahead
It's a Long Lonely Road
Victory is choosing Love and Care and Striving for Tomorrow
Defeat is Bitterness and Resentment and Despair and Giving Up
That Fight is Every Day
Until You get to The End
To Your Place of Peace
Victory is Love and Peace
But don't Feel press-ganged into coddling me
I know there's no meaning there
I only Want to See You if You want to See Me
I'm trying to choose You
I'm trying to Wait
I'm trying to figure it all out
I'm trying to Honor All My Love
I'm trying to Be The Man that I'm capable of being
My Greatest Self
And I guess I'll be him either way
But the Me that joins with You is different than the Me that Lets You Go
Kamina or Simon
All The Way Down
Mostly who you'll find on The Road
But can you tell the difference?
But can you tell the difference?
I can escape the emotions by numbing myself
But I can't escape the meaning
I have so much to be thankful for so maybe I'm being too emotional
But when I'm in the moment and the sadness is Just this Heavy Weight in my Heart I don't care about the list of Blessings I can't move I can't breathe I can't do anything Nothing Matters to me more than This Love and I Fucked Everything Up I don't even know what I was supposed to learn I'M SORRY I'm trying SO HARD but it doesn't matter there's nothing to work or fight for I'm Just Wasted
But I can't escape the meaning
I have so much to be thankful for so maybe I'm being too emotional
But when I'm in the moment and the sadness is Just this Heavy Weight in my Heart I don't care about the list of Blessings I can't move I can't breathe I can't do anything Nothing Matters to me more than This Love and I Fucked Everything Up I don't even know what I was supposed to learn I'M SORRY I'm trying SO HARD but it doesn't matter there's nothing to work or fight for I'm Just Wasted
Slept here most of my nights in Salem this time around
Helped the Folk on The Streets out a bit
But when I realized this is where I was put
I knew what I had to do
I knew what I had to do
Write it All Down.
I remember because these moments were Valuable to Me
The moments are Valuable to Me because I Love You.
I remember because these moments were Valuable to Me
The moments are Valuable to Me because I Love You.
I Appreciate the Struggle
I Appreciate the Strength I garner from these Trials
But it really has not been Fair to me
I Appreciate the Strength I garner from these Trials
But it really has not been Fair to me
To Carry All This around All The Time
And not even be recognized
My Labors and Struggles not even known
My Song Unheard
My Labors and Struggles not even known
My Song Unheard
I'm locked in a Box
With all these emotions
They're not for anyone else
But they can be Given to anyone
With all these emotions
They're not for anyone else
But they can be Given to anyone
That wouldn't be Fair to them
It's not fair to Love someone then take that Love away because it wasn't meant for them
It's not fair to Love someone then take that Love away because it wasn't meant for them
I don't CARE if you're seeing someone else
MY VOICE deserves to be Heard
I'll Push All the Way up to My Line
Or Yours—Whichever I reach first
And Wait there as long as I can
Scream from there
If I have to
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPlsgkzCb70
MY VOICE deserves to be Heard
I'll Push All the Way up to My Line
Or Yours—Whichever I reach first
And Wait there as long as I can
Scream from there
If I have to
Everyone always reminds me
That nobody owes me anything
That nobody owes me anything
That I can't Force Love
Like I don't already know
Like I don't already know
But they don't tell me who I should go to
Who's gonna Love and Care for me
Who's gonna Listen
Who's gonna Love and Care for me
Who's gonna Listen
Thanks for looking over me while I did all this fren
We stopped talking but I felt You with me
I had to go here and do this first
Before I reached out to You
Before we fix things
I Miss You.
I had to go here and do this first
Before I reached out to You
Before we fix things
I Miss You.
It's hard to make sense of it all
But I barely even have a choice here
If I didn't go to You and offer My Hand
There would be an eternal internal conflict
I'd Never be able to fully Love anyone else
Because You would always be there
But I barely even have a choice here
If I didn't go to You and offer My Hand
There would be an eternal internal conflict
I'd Never be able to fully Love anyone else
Because You would always be there
And You always will be there
In some way
In some way
But I Need You now
It's been everything I could do to get to You now
I'm beat and bleeding
My Strength is faded
I WAS FIGHTING FOR YOU FROM THE VERY BEGINNING
I'm beat and bleeding
My Strength is faded
I WAS FIGHTING FOR YOU FROM THE VERY BEGINNING
If I've Lost You
Then there's no Light at the End of the tunnel for me
Then there's no Light at the End of the tunnel for me
What am I fighting for if I've Lost Everyone?
My Love
MY LOVE
gone
My Love
MY LOVE
gone
You're going to lose me
I'm going to Fall
I've still got plenty of magic and tricks up my sleeve
I can keep going...
But I Need Your help
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJg-nqmlIOo
I can keep going...
But I Need Your help
Another place I was guided to
A budding Community Farm
Established by the Festival Community
Established by the Festival Community
You see the meaning in that right?
I could see us living here so easily
Do I need to be Sorry for that?
Do I need to let it all go?
Or can You hear Your voice in this music like I can?
Can You finally hear this song I've been singing?
Do I need to be Sorry for that?
Do I need to let it all go?
Or can You hear Your voice in this music like I can?
Can You finally hear this song I've been singing?
This is how I want to Live
Paired with Travel
Sorry I didn't get more pictures of it
Was too busy talking with people
Paired with Travel
Sorry I didn't get more pictures of it
Was too busy talking with people
Helping out
And Writing
And Writing
This is where I finished it
It came out to be forty-six pages
It came out to be forty-six pages
An Epic Love Poem
Just for You
Just for You
It starts just after the lonely drunken Valentine's Day notes
(You don't have to read those lol)
"I Fell in Love with You under The Stars..."
(You don't have to read those lol)
"I Fell in Love with You under The Stars..."
I'm just so used to being alone in the darkness
I handle the energy and I use it to move and I use it to Fight
I handle the energy and I use it to move and I use it to Fight
So it doesn't matter if I'm shunned
My Love is deeper and stronger than petty slights
It doesn't matter if I Die
I'll be Alive the second You Look at Me
That's thanks to the Phoenix YOU gave to me
My Love is deeper and stronger than petty slights
It doesn't matter if I Die
I'll be Alive the second You Look at Me
That's thanks to the Phoenix YOU gave to me
I Swear I have something Real for You here
God brought us together for a reason
Just Water me and I'll be fine for a while
God brought us together for a reason
Just Water me and I'll be fine for a while
Just remember
You Promised you'd read it
That's All I Can ask of You
You Promised you'd read it
That's All I Can ask of You
Kiki was the name of the girl I liked when I was four years old
I want to name my Daughter Kiki
Or maybe You're Kiki now
You could be
If only You Wanted to Be
I'll Be whatever You Want me to Be for You
I'll be in Your Life however You Need
I'll be in Your Life however You Need
But God please Want me
Somehow
Did You Like my Surprises?
Do You Like All this Me I'm Offering You?
I'm Dying here
Doin' All this for You and gettin' nothin' but a Water Bottle
Doin' All this for You and gettin' nothin' but a Water Bottle
And now I've Lost even that...
But no matter what my State of Being is
No matter how low and pained and hungry I might be
I Will Never Take Away Your Choice
I Will Never Take Away Your Choice
So here they are:
Let me know Love
Let me know how Long
Let me know how Long
Crush Me
Set me Free
—I'll Survive—
—I'll Survive—
Just Come See Me
Give this Love a Go
—We Can Fly—
—We Can Fly—
Hell is where all that is Sacred to you is forfeit
There is no safety or shelter to be had
Love has Abandoned you
Judged and Forsaken
There's No Hope
Only Despair
Dreams in the Mud
Constant Inescapable Pain
Desperate for Help that Never Comes
That's where The Demons are
Trying to Sell You your ticket out
Love has Abandoned you
Judged and Forsaken
There's No Hope
Only Despair
Dreams in the Mud
Constant Inescapable Pain
Desperate for Help that Never Comes
That's where The Demons are
Trying to Sell You your ticket out
Trying to dissolve your Ego
Confuse your sense of Right and Wrong
Trick you into Taking something that's not yours
Confuse your sense of Right and Wrong
Trick you into Taking something that's not yours
Convince you of Dark Rights that don't really exist
Then Eat Your Light once you've opened yourself to their Cursed Gifts
They'll Fool you into believing you can Buy Love
In whatever form they're trying to sell it as
Then Take All they can from You
Well I've been there and I've faced them Time and Time again
I understand them as much as a mortal can
I've been studying them my whole life
They're within me
BUT SO IS THE FIRE YOU GAVE ME
I've been studying them my whole life
They're within me
BUT SO IS THE FIRE YOU GAVE ME
Since the Moment I Loved You
When You Danced in front of me Under The Stars
I've had this Fire for You
I've kept it and I've carried it
From Baltimore to The Blue Ridge Mountains
I've fought for it and I've let it be free
From Chicago to Pittsburgh
From Baltimore to The Blue Ridge Mountains
I've fought for it and I've let it be free
From Chicago to Pittsburgh
It's been my Light
You're the one who Lifted me Up
You're the one who showed me More
And set me on My Greater Path
We Experienced That Together
And since that Moment
With You and Rudy and I
You're the one who showed me More
And set me on My Greater Path
We Experienced That Together
And since that Moment
With You and Rudy and I
No Demon has stood a chance.
