Writer Photographer Teacher Athlete Adventurer Musician Artist
Whatever
I'm Actually a Huge Nerd in Disguise
(If Anime videos and vidya game references didn't give it away I don't know what would)
A well-known trope in many video games is a point in the game when several Powerful enemies appear one after the other to challenge the player.
Whatever
I'm Actually a Huge Nerd in Disguise
(If Anime videos and vidya game references didn't give it away I don't know what would)
A well-known trope in many video games is a point in the game when several Powerful enemies appear one after the other to challenge the player.
The player/character will often have little to no rest in between these battles
Adding to the difficulty and the intensity of the battle.
This is known as a "Boss Rush"
In case anyone was wondering
Then I got another one immediately after
ffffffffffffff
I cheered myself up in the morning with some SERIOUS NUT BUTTER MIXTURES
Honey Chocolate Chunk!
Chunky PB
Cacao Powder
Chocolate Chips
Honey
All-Star Energy Road Combo!
66% Almond Butter 34% Peanut Butter
Cacao Powder
Vanilla Whey Protein Powder
Turmeric
Honey
Coconut Oil
Whole Almonds
Dried Mulberries
Vegetarien Marshmallows
Mix the powdered ingredients into the natural oils first, then add wet ingredients, then chunks
Dip the knife in the Coconut oil so it won't stick, then cut the marshmallows into 1/4 pieces
Super Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter
Natural Fresh Ground PB
LOTS of Cacao Powder
Coconut Oil
I'll mix this one again and put it on the Instagram for sure haha
I stood and joined the line to receive the Body of Christ via rice wafer
Upon reaching the deacon, after he spoke, "This is The Body of Christ."
He stopped and said, "Wait, are You Catholic?"
I said, "...I don't know?"
"I'm sorry, only Catholics may receive The Body of Christ."
So I returned to my seat
Apparently without Jesus' blessing
"I am Sorry. It is nothing personal. Only members of the congregation may receive The Body of Christ."
"That's okay! Saint John's in Sedona gave me the one the other day so I think I'm all set!"
The look on his face was pretty funny.
I learned afterward the reason for not giving me the wafer was apparently because of something Paul had said
(I'll quote the scripture here when I find it)
Not that cracker
And I'm pretty sure He'd Just laugh at different sects of His Way getting into any sort of disagreement about who should and shouldn't eat the little wafers
And I'm pretty sure discriminating against anyone is kind of contraire to the entire purpose of the church anyways
But they have their ceremonies and it's not like I'm trying to disrespect that
I Just Want people to Hold True to Jesus' Main Message
Which I'm pretty sure was One of Compassion and Care
I happened to go by a food pantry in operation so I resupplied there
Then got to the Post Office Just in Time to send my Father a Father's Day Care Package.
(The various golf related things I collected are foreshadowing for the True gift in the future...)
Then I made it to the bike shop to fix the slow leak in my tire
Thank You guys at the Verde Valley Bike Shop for getting me ready for the next Challenge...
For I wouldn't be staying a single evening in Cottonwood
And rather began my climb straight away as the Light faded to Twilight
MINGUS MOUNTAIN!
Riding in the cool of the Night definitely beats the sweltering heat of the day
But a Blood MoonRise was pretty Epic to Behold through this Ride
It's only Scary when You're Weak
When You can't defend Yourself You don't know what to Do You don't Know what's Out there
Knowledge and Wisdom and Power
And You're Ready to Fight
Even Want to
Just in Case ones' Words and Magic Fail
Then The World is a lot less Scary and a lot more Exciting!
I am so Thankful
For what I have been able to Gather unto myself
A lot of folk have compared it to Crestone and said it's pretty cool
I wonder if the Spirits will receive Me Positively or if my Energy I bring through the town will be rejected?
I Hope I'm having a positive effect
Maybe it's too late and we're All Doomed
But I Want to believe in this Country and I Want to at least try to DO my Part Healing the Land its People and The Spirits
100% Hope
But I'm definitely really enjoying these Night Rides
Dragon Slayer
Beauty must be maintained
Diet—Exercise for example
Protecting Trees from Chainsaws
Protecting Children from Monsters
Protecting Animals from Poachers
So I had to go check it out before retiring underneath it at the library's front door
very old
much spook
Not to brag
But it was Easy
The 2,000 or so foot climb from Cottonwood to Jerome at Night
I broke a sweat yeah but as I told a couple that I stopped to ask for directions to the library, "My legs ain't sore, and they won't be sore in the mornin'"
Which held to be true.
The library didn't open for a few hours though and I wanted to check out a spot called the Mine Cafe so after not doing enough push-ups I headed over there.
The pancakes were good—but I dozed off trying to write and the waitress kicked me out.
Lame.
At least they gave me a lot of honey
And I got to try their hot cocoa...
My neighbor leaves behind her water.
I'm all out—so I pour hers into my cup.
Definitely Good.
I notice a small amount of hot cocoa.
I Want to taste the chocolate...
The sweetness...
I look around...
Then go for it.
Yum d:
Good?
I laugh—it's funny!
Is it a sin?
Why is water suddenly evil with the addition of cocoa and sugar?
Health + Hydration vs. Sugar + Pleasure
Come to think of it...
I don't know what Jesus ate besides Bread and Fish and Wine.
Oh yeah, and Figs.
I overhear some locals talk about some upcoming parties and events.
People are generally cautious of strangers so as a tourist you can see the cool venues easily but it's harder to find yourself at the private/intimate events
And those are the cool spots!
Traveling
Planting Seeds
to return to later (with a Lover)
GOOD PLAN RIGHT!??
Future Holy Homestead Sun Butter!
Sunflower Seed Butter
Muesli (Oats Barley Wheat Rye Almonds Walnuts Sunflower Seeds Flaxseeds Raisins Dates)
Sun Dried Mulberries
Mango Hot Sauce -or- Cinnamon (Optional)
Bastion will have to have Sunflower Seeds!
Obviously!
So with the Sun over the Mountain it's the perfect time to Ascend
Illuminated but cool
High Visibility No Heat
ROUND II
But the winding Road up the Mountain was a fun Challenge
And Dodging Cars is Cool
But I gave my Thermal Sleeping bag away to a cold Brother on the Rocks
(My Grandfather gave me that bag
I Hope he appreciated it...)
There's no way I'd be warm enough to sleep up there at all without it
So no choice but to ride down in the Darkness
"THE SHORTEST DISTANCE BETWEEN TWO POINTS
IS A LIIIIIIIINE
FROM ME TO YOU
FROM
ME
TO
YOUUUUUU"
"Oh, I'm Just waiting for the library to open."
"You were passed out on the bench. Ya can't Just sleep here."
(Ha jokes on him. I got there in the middle of the Night and already slept for several hours, though not enough).
A better response for next time,
"Well I can—You Just felt the need to not let me."
If I ever wake a man trying to rest for no reason but to deny him sleep
Please Slap Me.
Would he have said that to me if I was wearing a suit and tie?
How about a Uniform?
Nope and No Way
It's Just discrimination against "Homeless"
That's why it pisses me off.
LionHeart is worn from the miles and I keep a tacky looking bag of recyclables hanging off the back ('cause it's the Right Thing to DO!) so some folk see it and think I'm "Homeless"
Which many folk these days look down upon because they're idiots.
Like, obviously I can't annex a corner of the library parking lot off and establish a camp
But what's the problem with me or anyone taking a damn nap on a bench?
Promoting Compassion and Dismantling Ideas of Discrimination
That's one of The Good Fights in Today's Day and Age
Along with my own Work on This
And resupplying and resting of course
Please Understand
Every Day
Every Photo
I would think of You
And Hope that You'd be Reading
If not Now then One Day
I Love Crispy Hexagons!!
Thanks Mom!
I happened upon a hidden basement parlor and was offered what is apparently rated as the Second Best Mead in The World
And it was pretty amazing
So that was Cool.
I was trying to head out of the city asap but
Something about this spot just beckoned me to check it out
~By Oscar Wilde
Lillie Langtry
Probably the nicest Bar I've ever seen, actually
The Want for Love is so Pure and Divine
But ya know You have to Share them with The World
They can't ever be Yours
Can They?
I met a Brother named Amir.
We chatted for a bit and he nonchalantly mentioned his behavior of paying women for sex now and then. Just to get by.
I told him I don't Judge him—that I've been there and seen that—but it only made me Sad
Hurt Me.
I told him about Her, my Vow of Celibacy, and not being allowed to see Her on Valentine's.
I told him I want to marry Her—So I'm going the distance.
That I'm thankful for this opportunity to prove my Love.
That She means something to Me.
As he left, I repeated that I didn't Judge him
But it does make me Sad
And that I Wished him Love.
Thus, Peanut Butter.
But with Faith and Hope
I know that I am working towards something.
Something Amazing and Beautiful and Real.
A Trusting Meaningful Life Long Relationship.
As All Love should Be
Is.
As I brought myself up upon LionHeart
I saw an elderly couple walking out of the wal-mart
Working together to walk
Leaning upon each other for Balance
Hands Held Together and Arms Tucked Tightly to each other.
They are Beautiful.
I watched them as they trotted side by side into the parking lot.
I thought, "Yeah, that's where I Want to Be."
Don't You Want to Be Free?
Thanks for Giving to me Dom!
I ended up passing that money on to a man collapsed on the side of the road along with bread, water, and a blanket, but I really appreciated you Giving unto Me.
Some folk were passing by and I think it was a good lesson for them too.
Fightin' the Good Fight.
After a few days of working on This and some exploration of the city I'm mostly ready for the upcoming Desert and I'm about to head out
But of course there's a BlueGrass Festival going on beckoning my stay.
So I sit and chill out for a bit, listening to the damn good music and making a repair to my pannier bag.
Most folk are Just keeping in their groups—not open to Connect
Why do I have to Hustle Just for a conversation?
Ugh.
After some time sitting by my bicycle and many, "Have a nice day!"s
A man named Tim approaches me and invites me to a Grateful Dead show later
He also mentions he has acid
(It must be the hair...)
I give him the Candlelit Dinner kind of Guy Spiel and say I'll try to make it.
Another Brother that stopped to offer aid to me named Tomas tells me about a Hooping Dance party on Sunday, too
I'm going West.
The Coast is My Goal.
Obviously the second I heard the word "Hoop" I thought of You
I briefly consider the idea that I aught to go there and take photos and that that'd be more cool stuff I do for You to see to try to remind You we're perfect for each other
But You're Not There.
It'd be a bunch of other Gorgeous Gals
None of which are Mine or For Me
(See, That's the Illusion. That I might believe I could have any of them.
I CAN'T.
So even thinking about it is Just Painful Sad and Frustrating and I'M SO SICK OF IT ALL)
Obviously the second I heard the word "Hoop" I thought of You
I briefly consider the idea that I aught to go there and take photos and that that'd be more cool stuff I do for You to see to try to remind You we're perfect for each other
But You're Not There.
It'd be a bunch of other Gorgeous Gals
None of which are Mine or For Me
(See, That's the Illusion. That I might believe I could have any of them.
I CAN'T.
So even thinking about it is Just Painful Sad and Frustrating and I'M SO SICK OF IT ALL)
What am I even doing here?
I'd be thinking of You the whole Time I'd be Sad and inevitably at some point my sexuality would be triggered by a Sister swinging her butt around or looking at me for >2.4 seconds and so would my self-hate and I'd run and hide alone in the dark some where and cry and pray and cry and pray and just be in Pain and why'd You have to DO this to Me why does it have to BE this way WHY WHY WHY?
There is only one Space where I'm okay and actually stable.
100% Hope.
Any doubt is like a crack in the dam
Despair pours into my being like used motor oil
Despair pours into my being like used motor oil
Only when I have absolute faith that I'll See and Talk to You again can I even Move.
I Want Her to be okay I'll Help Her any time
I Want to be friends with Her I Want Her in my Life in my Family
My relationship with Her is perfect
We're still friends We still Talk We can still hang out I can still Help Her
That's the way it should Be.
Right now though
I Just Want to Ride.
I Want Her to be okay I'll Help Her any time
I Want to be friends with Her I Want Her in my Life in my Family
My relationship with Her is perfect
We're still friends We still Talk We can still hang out I can still Help Her
That's the way it should Be.
Right now though
I Just Want to Ride.
But we can learn from Listening too
There's Hope in that
That we don't have to Fall
Don't have to Suffer to learn our Lessons
At least not every time
We can instead Pay Attention
Follow Direction
Gain Perspective
And Avoid Deadly Pitfalls
Continue to Help Folk and The World
Keep Fighting' the Good Fight!
And
To See You again
To See You again
To Love You again
To Be What We Can Be
Together
- Care for the Sick
- Give to The Poor
- Disrupt Systems of Power and Control over Population
- Welcome Strangers
- Live as though You are in The Kingdom of God
A totally bad-ass road winding down the Mountainside!
Officially bringing me down
Into the Desert.
What is Right/Wrong and Good/Bad
Mentally - Our Paradigms and Belief Systems
Physically - Our Lifestyle
Live in a way that's Healthy for The World around us
Promotes Healthiness in Others around us
And is Healthy for Our Selves
DESCENDING DESERT!
They build Bridges of Rivers of Sand
Then struck out into the Desert to enjoy the many miles under the Stars
And I get excited!
Is it a random battle encounter!?
I Want to Fight!!
I think we all are.
Though maybe some of us know Just how weak we are.
Maybe some of us know Just how Strong we are."
It had a Beautiful Red Shockwave Tail
Shining White at the Front
The Shooting Star that shot through Our Sky as I spoke those words.
No little voice inside speaking contraire to what I'm doing.
No aspect of me that Wants More or something different.
When I am so complete and whole.
I've had moments of Clarity like that before.
Nothing can compare to God's Love
But in my own way
I am perhaps more thankful for that than anything else."
It opens Just as the day starts to heat up.
So the plan worked perfectly!
There are barely any cars on the Road and I can see them comin' from literally miles away
So I can get off the side of the Road where lots of glass and other crap to dodge is
And enjoy the whole smooth street
My eyes are off the Road most of the time
Just lookin' at The Stars
A more immature self in the past wanted as many sexual partners as possible
In terms of my Choices and what I was pursuing
I was almost really a slave to those desires
Hormones definitely have some effect here
But so does our conscious Intention
So as I grew I understood that Building Meaningful Relationships with people was much more Important and Rewarding for everyone involved.
Creating a Real Relationship—based on Trust and Care and Respect
That doesn't expire...
This is one of the reasons I'm so Hurt and Upset...
I thought we had built such a Relationship
I thought We Had That.
I Thought that I Had That in
But one by one I was thrown away by women that I felt for so Deeply there'd of been No Hesitation to Die for to Kill for.
And I don't care if I sound like I'm whining to anyone I Love each of You I don't care what anyone thinks of this but each of You I'm stuck in this Space You each put me in it's Painful I'm Calling for Help I'm out here Fighting
Every Night...
I thought we had built such a Relationship
I thought We Had That.
I Thought that I Had That in
But one by one I was thrown away by women that I felt for so Deeply there'd of been No Hesitation to Die for to Kill for.
And I don't care if I sound like I'm whining to anyone I Love each of You I don't care what anyone thinks of this but each of You I'm stuck in this Space You each put me in it's Painful I'm Calling for Help I'm out here Fighting
Every Night...
I try to set my intentions as high as possible
To Teach and Guide
To Inspire and Uplift
To Connect and Be Friend
To Care and Serve
But I try not to let that get in the way of making a friend and accomplishing all the Good I can for that person through that interaction.
I Just have to Hope that after giving someone an hour of my Time to impart my knowledge regarding cycling, camping, writing, photography, bamboo art, martial arts, healthy living, positive mindsets, or whatever else folk want to chat about
They'll want to Share a granola bar or somethin' with me.
They don't have to though.
I don't focus on the return
I focus on what I can Share and what I can Give
And that's The Point.
Then I'm going to make that known
And while it can be frustrating or scary being out there without support or resources and in Need of something/s
That's where Faith comes in
that We Will Not Be Forsaken.
Eventually, what We Need will Come.
Well, we don't want our relationships to be Manipulative and Abusive, Right?
I suppose that is Meaningful...
But it's a Bad Meaning! It's Not Good.
Pain helps us Grow Stronger...
But it's not what we're looking for.
We Want Experience and Life
We Want to Feel.
So we Need some kind of Struggle some kind of Challenge some kind of Work in our Lives
So We Know that we're Earning what we Have!
If we Feel nothing but Pleasure all the time we Feel Guilty about!
Ya can't have too many Sisters!
Ya can't have too many Brothers!
That's Jesus' Way!
Jesus Gives Two Thumbs-up for Meaningful Trusting Relationships!
To build these Connections with as many people as possible is as high an intention as I can imagine.
People that You know will Help You if/when You're in Need
(And You, of course, hold every intention to do the same)
They won't Turn their Back to You
Send You away Cold, Alone, into the Storm
And that's the Meaning
Trust.
And Building a Trusting Relationship is a much higher intention than,
"Well, hey, let's Fuck, a bit..."
Right?
Sex and Intimacy can build a lot of Trust
Ideally, that's what is happening
But two people can also be clearly Using each other for X, Y, and/or Z and not building any sort of Trusting or Lasting Relationship at all.
I don't Judge that, if that's where someone is...
But if one is Just looking for a hook-up
You should at least Be Honest about it.
I don't Want to be Full of Shit.
I've heard of a lot of self-proclaimed "gurus" that have gleaned some Wisdom in their lives but have an inflated ego about it and lack the Discipline to control themselves and their lower energies.
"Hurrr durrr
I read the Bhagavad Gita, like, Twice
You know Nothing
Call me Baba I will tell you de way"
Careful around anyone who doesn't See Value in Your being and show You proper Respect
No matter what Spiritual texts they've Read or Claim to Comprehend...
Thank You for serving me, Sister!
The library was unfortunately three miles from here
(Google maps said it was here!)
So I ended up having to ride in the heat just for a bit!
One has to Properly Manage one's Lower Energies
"Yang"
Our Hunger
Our Want for Physical/Worldly Pleasures
And the Choices and Actions We will Take to Satisfy
Sin is when we Sacrifice Love or Destroy Beauty and Innocence to satiate our Hunger.
How one (honestly) Intends to direct a relationship.
How we consciously choose to
But Want is subconscious.
If one
My Want for Peanut Butter, for example, is beyond my control.
If someone put a jar of (fresh organic) Peanut Butter in front of me and I said I didn't Want it, that would be a Lie
Because I Want Peanut Butter
But if the Peanut Butter is, for example, someone else's Peanut Butter
Well, I don't Want to Steal someone's Peanut Butter from them
So there's a Choice there
The Wrong Choice being Theft
The Right Choice being Restraint.
Stealing from someone is disrespectful and damages the Trust and Love you have with that person
And that's why it's a sin
After working on This 'til the library closed...
It was still warm in the light for a few hours so I didn't even need a blanket
I woke around 9ish
Ready for another Night Ride to the next town
I'll call this strategy...
Library Hopping!
Gotta Stay Strong
Well that is where I may appropriately direct and satisfy my Hunger
Last town in Arizona...
Quartzsite!
It falls upon each of our Shoulders
Our Personal Responsibility
To learn to control our selves and our Sexual Energies.
We Need to have a level of Discipline to at least not steal from our Brother
Or Kill Our Sister...
But my Vow is actually pretty easy to maintain
The women who are meant for Me threw Me in the Trash
So that's where I Am
Alone
Waiting for them to change their Mind and Pull Me Out
Focusing on maintaining my Health and Sanity and Love and not Fall into a space of Bitterness or Anger or Resentment
'til then
I have my bicycle!
And plenty of Sisters to Meet!
I guess my timing is Perfect though
Light of Day so people don't flatten me
Early Morning so it's not sweltering
Yet
I went to get some food at a pantry which asked to see my passport
Going there turned out to be a big mistake though
I forgot to put my passport away after and Lost it!
I spent a few hours wasting energy retracing my steps looking for it
then reported it to the police department.
Oh well there goes that key tool for dealing with society.
I got my Mother a Birthday Gift while zipping around the town (:
(That's actually why I wanted to pass through here).
Luckily it was a Library that didn't require photo ID
It was the 25th
Santa Barbara is nearly 400 miles away from Quartzsite
"Know what would be cool?" I thought
"If I made it to the coast on or before the 4th."
So that means at least 45 miles a day
The most difficult stretch is Just ahead
70 miles on the interstate -_-
Then Joshua Tree.
Just across the street from the library was a Fighter Jet...
Surprisingly comfortable
Very Cool
(Only 'cause it wasn't ON)
From Deserts both High and Low
To Battles in the Streets To Blazing through the Canyons
Overcoming the Massive Challenges that were set before Me
And Being Lifted from Despair by My Faith when I Failed.
I didn't expect it to be Easy
and I was not disappointed.
But I also didn't expect to find some of the Best People I've ever met in My Life here
I also didn't expect to find Family Here.
I Will Definitely Be Back.
"If You're Going... To San Francisco!"
Started playing in my headphones and I remembered many times in my Life that I've listened to that
Back at home and all across the country
And it was another moment where I felt how far I've come.
I made it to California.
I wept, again
Starring at this sign
Thinking about what this state represents
Especially to an East Coaster like me
And All the things it promises
The Beaches and Less Sexually Restrictive Culture
A place where I Belong with like-minded folk
Friends.
When we met up in Albany She expressed that She saw me as a Brother
I was really touched, and I realized I always Wanted a Sister
So that's another source of some Pain
When She didn't Do unto Me as a Sister would.
Believing that we had that Trusting Meaningful Relationship
But actually being something much less than that to Her
Well that Hurts phenomenally.
Ya can't help but think about the warmth they aren't sharing with You
Because they don't Trust You
Or Just don't Care.
Dark Energies bubble up
Which begins Internal Battles and triggers self-hate and lots of negative emotions
Sadness and Anger...
It's Cold.
I'm Alone.
I thought they Cared about Me I thought I was Her Brother
I'd Never have done this to Her
Why is She treating me like this?
How could She Do this to Me?
WHY?
And that's also where the Nice Words will fail.
Anyone can say they Care
But it's pretty obvious it's a Damn Lie when you're being kicked to the curb in the same fucking text message.
There was sad moment recently
When I saw on facebook She moved herself to San Diego.
(I'm thankful that communication isn't cut but given the state of things it's honestly weird that they haven't defriended me...)
If She hadn't betrayed me and thrown me away and clearly couldn't Care less about me
I'd of Loved to have gone to San Diego to See Her
But I'd probably Just be left on the Streets even if I was in some way of Need
If my messages were responded to at all
And I have a Brother to see in San Francisco in September
So I kept my plan to head Northwest around and above L.A. and aim for the Coast of Santa Barbara
I believe that creating/maintaining a Sacred Space is one of the Highest Callings we can undertake in this Life.
I can't worry about that now.
Now
The Final Boss Battle awaits before Me!!
I gave the $20 to a Sister that needed a place to stay and the $5 to an older woman who Just Needed.
Fiddled a bit, but feeling frustrated, time ticking, tired and hungry, people not interacting.
Ran out of Patience
Got $1 and some kids to smile so gj
Then I remembered my Emergency money
(I'm supposed to keep $25 in my account)
and this is THE FINAL BOSS so no reason to hold back!
I Need a Juice!
I also buy some salty peanuts
I'm not trying to Fast this time.
I use the hot water at the station to make muesli with turmeric and protein powder. I also brew some yerba mate and mix protein powder in that too. I have access to water now so I'm making use of that.
Joshua Tree is a DESERT MOUNTAIN
Gotta Power Through
I MUST TRIUMPH!
First Level!
FORTY STRAIGHT MILES OF INTERSTATE
So I rode that without stopping at all
(Not including the once to say a prayer at a grave I passed)
Third Boss!
Level Two!
EAGLE MOUNTAIN!!
Once that heat began beating down on me I'd be in trouble
Even if it was much more difficult
This route seemed way cooler than 20+ more miles on the interstate and going through the main entrance
I'll Need to drink it faster in the sun
So I have to keep moving and make it through
No one is allowed inside
Hey, this is the way Google Maps told me to go lol
I made it over the fence and ducked into this shaded garage in time though
I ate and took a nap here through the Day
Dreaming of a future with Love
Working Towards That.
HA TAKE THAT YOU FRAK!
gj Spider
But what a way to go huh?
Spiders are pretty terrifying
Almost stepped on a snek fren
Especially don't wanna be stepping' on no poison bois
I had a Dream telling me to turn around
But in addition to Just wanting to go the Cooler and more interesting route
I didn't Want to back down.
If it's Longer and Harder and more Dangerous and Risky
Good.
I Need That.
I Need a Worthy Battle.
"Make My Self a King..."
I don't think I'll be Cursed...
No Thank You!
EAST
Dividing the Mining area from Black Eagle Road
Ha!
Bicycle Wins Again!
I squeezed past the side (with only minor damage to my wheel lol)
Black Eagle Road is completely impassable via bicycle
(thanks google maps)
So All Night I was Just Pushing/Pulling LionHeart through it all
Pretty much the entirety of the fifteen miles.
The holes in my shoes didn't help either
My feet were slipping out through them
So it was a painful challenging Struggle
All Night.
This is the FINAL BOSS.
I didn't think it was going to be easy at all
I Just kept pushing forward
singing my new Song to my Self
"Make My Self a King..."
The road improved marginally here but was still about 95% unrideable
I said to myself,
"She's So Special"
and cried for a while
Another couple hours of dragging my bike as the sun came up
The last six miles or so is nothing but a long straight uphill of loose Sand to the main road
I ran out of Water a couple miles short
I reached my limit then
Under the Desert Sun
Exhausted from struggling All Night
I stopped and prayed and heard a voice telling me to leave the bicycle behind
I was about two miles short of the main road
When I reached it I fell to my knees and prayed for water
Sure enough, a Sister driving by stopped and gave me several bottles
I drank two of them immediately and poured the others into the camelback.
The plan then was to get more water this way, then go back for LionHeart
So I kept praying on the side of The Road
Some folk Just rode past, a couple stopped and gave me a couple more bottles...
Then a Ranger rode by!
As I spoke to Ranger Miles I suddenly staggered backwards
I caught myself, but realized I must be suffering from some minor heat exhaustion
So Ranger Miles picked up LionHeart and drove me to the Visitor Center
I recouped there and met plenty of nice folk
I stepped into the store and totally wanted to get a Hat
I'm pretty particular about the hats I wear
My Double Dragon Loyalty Hat was Stolen in Tempe and I've yet to find a Hat that I would have worn
But being the Final Boss
Joshua Tree sort of represents the culmination of all the challenges I've faced and overcome so far
So I would have Loved a Joshua Tree Hat, but didn't have enough for one...
Instead I got a sticker that said, "Don't Die Today" and a Joshua Tree Patch for my Royal Cavalry Plaid
Thank You Brother Walt for Giving me all that Food!
And thanks to everyone else who gave to me to help me along
After resting for a while I went to the campsite Ranger Miles said I could sleep at and did Just that
But only for a few hours
I woke a little after midnight
Met my neighbors who were having a Birthday party!
Brother Christopher and Sister Jasmine
Thanks again so much for inviting me to your table and feeding me!
After getting some energy into me, gave them the "Don't Die Today" sticker as a Birthday gift, then headed out
If I had Quit at some point
No one would have came.
And as I found, the area is much less forgiving when the Sun is at its Peak.
Sometimes You gotta Save Yourself
After some miles of riding I stopped to have a snack and ended up passing out on the ground.
I peeled myself off the pavement with the Sun Rise
and got right back to Riding
Level Three!
JOSHUA TREE DESERT MOUNTAIN!!!
So I'll definitely be climbing in the Sun
But at this point I was Just thankful to be able to Ride on flat Road
For the Ride and for the Battle and the Beauty and my Growth and Self and for Just Everything
Now these little monsters I really had to watch out for
I'm sure running Just one over woulda ended my tube
I removed all the needles
Just what I needed to cover the back of my neck!
Noice!
Now the Real Battle begins
So much Fun to See
As I climbed through the Sun
A car pulled over with two Matajis in it
They gave me water and fruit and cheese and a magic clothe that somehow retains coolness for hours
Gifts from Mother to Aid in My Battle!
We chatted for a minute, and as She was about to leave, She took the Hat off Her Head and put it on mine.
A few more miles
Just Climbing
"Make My Self a King..."
'til I came upon a Rock formation at what seemed to be the peak of the Road
North
South
I Am A King.
My Kingdom
What am I Missing?
I'll worry about that when I get there
That's All that Matters Right Now.
With Joshua Tree behind me
It's Just a Straight shot to Santa Barbara!!!
I hear most cross-country cyclists opt for a West to East route
(Mostly because of Eastward Blowing Winds)
There was another ten miles of riding to a Calvary Church I sought shelter at for the evening
I tried to inspire her to practice and study
As I Do.
She handed me a five dollar Bill
"Hey! I don't Need this! This is for You!"
"No!! You Need it more!"
And She ran off leaving Her gift in my lap.
A special gift from An Angel.
But there was actually about 250 more miles of Desert and two Mountains left
If I Wanted to reach the Coast by July 4th
It wasn't too hot this day
Definitely enjoyed riding in the Light
Lots of ups and downs
But ya can tell
This is a magic spot
Magic spots are spots that people go to to have real moments
These are my favorite places to find
You can Just Feel the Energy.
Just push 'til I crash
Sleep—Wake—Eat—Ride
If that's a Truth
Then I don't want to Live in this World anymore
'cause that means that Hope is a LIE
and LOVE is an ILLUSION
and WE MEAN NOTHING
I stopped and looked down in Defeat and said,
"at least You're Real, Jesus."
And I heard a voice say,
"At Your Service, Brother!"
And I began weeping as if I were a child
And ate some Blessed Fruit.
As I was trying to summon my strength and rally myself
I heard,
"She's Just on the other side of that Mountain
Haven't You heard?"
Getting back up again and again after taking blow after blow
and heard,
"That's Luffy."
I thought about my self
crying for Her
Screaming and Screaming and Screaming
but getting back up and pushing forward
and I heard,
"That's Justin."
So much more than a Doll
Than a Body for Sex.
I Want to Free Her from that.
I Want to Lift Her Up.
For All the Sister in my Life
Is Beautiful.
I both think and Feel
that it is the most Beautiful thing about me.
Uso to Honto comes on and I began weeping again.
My Heart Hurts so much.
The Hurt welled up until even the voice within was silenced.
I was completely that Pain.
I screamed at the top of my lungs, tears pouring out of my face.
The first thing I thought was a thought for Her and for God,
"Please Feel Me. Please let Her Feel Me."
When She Gives Gifts to someone else that can not be replaced.
Pieces of Her Heart that I longed for
Belong to another man...
What we have is Special and it is enough and cannot be Destroyed.
That was rough Night
Which comes out
Often enough
I guess
I had some interactions here
Mostly just feeding the Needy on the Street
I gave most of what I had away to folk I met
With the exception of My Peanut Butter.
Actually, I did offer it to a man that reeked of alcohol
But I think he could tell that I didn't actually want to give it to him at all and he didn't take it.
Victorville is a rough town.
Worst condition since Kentucky
Absolutely no shoulder
Crags and holes everywhere
Strong erratic Winds pushing against Me didn't help either.
I was leaving Victorville during rush hour so there was massive traffic.
I would have waited but I kept being harassed when I tried to take a nap so I decided to Just get out.
Riding into the sun I knew cars behind me couldn't see me and I had no space so I switched sides going against traffic so I could jump off the road when I had to
Which was often.
Makin' My Way, Brother!
Which comes out
Often enough
I suppose
My Love for You only Hurts me
Sometimes something will trigger one of the Beautiful memories
And it will generally Hurt so much I will literally lose my breath, fall to my knees, and/or my Mind and thoughts will be completely overtaken by the Everything of it.
So I have put it away as much as I possibly can.
And if that's what You Wanted well then good job
I guess
I Receive Sacred Gifts
Just little things throughout my Day that bring forth Memories and/or Emotions for You
Sometimes they Hurt so much I Howl
Sometimes they make me so Happy any and all Doubt is Just pushed right out of My Heart because there's no way there's Just no possible way that Happiness like that could be Just an illusionary carrot on a stick and I don't know how much further I Need to Go but Just that moment that one little glimpse of Just how happy I'll be with You is All I Need to keep Fighting keep Working hard keep Hoping and praying that You're reading this and valuing it.
My Dreams
The Horizon
And All those Sacred Little Moments
Have to be Enough for Me.
I don't Doubt it at all.
Thinking of You makes me Happy
and I am So looking forward to Our Moment when we see each other again and what that's going to be like.
We might both be married with kids by then
Or You might be Saving My Life
Again.
"Bark!"
I parked my bike and walked down the hill into a very deserty brush area to investigate
No houses around at all—Definitely no place for a doggo
I walked around leaving little scraps of bread but found nor heard nothing
As I shrugged my shoulders and started to return to the Road I saw two little eyes staring at me from a tiny drainage tunnel
No idea how doggo got out here but it was hiding out in a tunnel way too smol for me to enter that ran underneath the road.
doggo wouldn't come out from the tunnel, Just kept barking at me deep within
So I left a bunch of food at the entrance on some cardboard I found
Then marked where the tunnel was along the road with an empty container I found
Then walked to...
There are Call Boxes everywhere along these highways
So that's pretty cool!
I made a couple calls and got in touch with the animal municipalities.
I unfortunately couldn't do anything more for doggo
But I sure hope they can rescue the little fella' out from the tunnel
The family there was so Beautiful.
They saw me as a Human Being
They Cared about My Needs
And they gave great directions.
They gave me some amazing food and even some money!
The kids searched through their pockets for whatever they had for me.
I tried not to accept it but,
"We'd Just waste it on junk food. You Need it!"
We had talked about traveling though
So I left all the money, including my last dollar, along with a couple cool gifts and a note,
"For Your Travel Funds!"
I hit my limit.
I never fully recovered from Joshua Tree
and have Just been riding tired and sore.
I even developed a cough.
At some point I had meant to take a nap but Just didn't so I pushed on knowing I'd crash at some point
And I sure did
Well, almost.
For the first time ever I actually fell asleep at my handlebars.
I woke up as I began to lose my balance
I caught myself. Did Not Fall.
But did sleep on a flat patch of dirt on the side of the Road for just a few hours 'til joining the Rush Hour traffic on their way to L.A.
About fifty miles to Santa Clarita
That's one reason I Love Her so much.
More than any other Need, I Need Us to Be Beautiful.
Not f'd up not painful not sad and disappointing.
Beautiful.
I can't help but conclude
That This World Corrupted Her.
It changed Her perspective to think I'm Trash and instead Want this or that or these things.
God can See Who We Are
Wholly and Fully
Into the Depths of Our Hearts.
The Lord Wants us to Grow!
The Lord Wants us to Love and be Happy and Healthy and Safe!
So what Do We Need?
It can be frustrating to not know
but God knows
so that's why we have to have Faith
Trust God
and Just Do Our Best.
Work Hard
Avoid Temptation
Be Healthy
Take Care of Our Selves
Help Others
and Steward The World as best we can.
I Need Her.
I know I Do.
I Need the Beauty and Meaning that having Her in My Life would bring.
I Need to Wait for Her to look at me again
That Wait
Carrying and Feeling these Emotions through Time
Day by Day
That Action has Meaning!
It Speaks!
It can't be argued with.
THE POWER AND TRUTH OF MY LOVE IS EVIDENT THROUGH THIS TRIAL.
I would not could not maintain any type of Celibacy right now if not for Her
(Deep Connection is Rare)
(But Tinder is at my fingertips)
It boils down to choice
You are Who I Want.
You are Who I Need.
I Need Your Love I Need to Give You Mine I Need Our Love to be Wondrous and BEAUTIFUL
I NEED THAT
And when I think about that and Feel You and Us I'm filled with a Longing and Love
Then I know what I Want right away
But gosh that message you sent me makes it so hard.
You made it so hard...
Despite Everything I Know and Feel
I can't help but fantasize about not being alone anymore.
About other things I Want to experience.
Many things I've given up upon entirely because She is much more important.
But beyond sex and touch and intimacy is a more Pure Desire for Just a cool story.
As I rode, I couldn't help but sometimes imagine meeting a Dream Gal in Santa Barbara and having a Wild Love affair for like a week while I celebrate and work on my book there.
Work on my book...
I'm still writing to You
Still believing You'll keep Your Promise to Me and Read this like You said You would.
Imagine how much different all this writing would come out as though if I fail my Vow
If that red-haired Dream Gal is chillin' out nearby Just waiting for me to Fill Her with My Love and My Self.
And there's a part of me that is Frustrated and Bitter and Angry and Hurt and I don't Want to BE ALONE carrying all this anymore but the only meaning to Her would be Quitting on You and My Weakness therein
I Need to PROVE to You My LOVE for You
if I Want any Hope any Chance of being with You again.
That's the Meaning the Purpose for all this struggle and strife and work.
So You can know the Depths of My Love for You.
I can't Just discard it All in the Final Hour
I can connect with Sisters all I want (sort of) but You're the one who I offer My Sacred Gifts to and You're the one I have to make it to to See Again.
You're The One.
Since the very beginning it has been
In addition to fun and exploration and Destiny...
And one thing I've learned of Love through this Journey
It's not important what She Gives Me.
It's not important what I Gain from Her.
What's important is what I can Give to Her from My Heart and that I as a human being can grow and mature and be Stronger and more able to Do Good in this World and Best Serve The Lord.
This Moment is the Climax of My Life.
I found my way to the wal-mart where I rested and had some Peanut Butter with an Apple
'cause of Battle Angel Alita!
One of my all time favorite characters/comic ever.
James Cameron just made a movie adaption of it actually which came out last winter
I had been planning, Hoping, to go see it with You...
That was awesome
Even though he reminds me more of my Father than of myself
I've never tried my home town's local brew!
That'll be a Night to imbibe!
Drooling on myself as usual, not sure for how long.
I woke to a Sister asking me if I was alright.
She offered to buy me a fruit or something.
I walked with her through the produce area and chatted for a while
After some conversation and picking out a couple vegetables, she ended up just handing me $40
Wow.
Thank You Sister.
I spent the $40 on healthy food and supplies—blanket and poncho
I rode through the city, passed out for maybe five minutes in a bush, then rode for some dozen miles 'til arriving at a gas station.
There was a Sister just outside the entrance, huddled in the corner by the propane tanks.
Unfortunately, when a Sister is in such a vulnerable position, she can be easily targeted by predators
So I can't Just waltz over drop the Name of Jesus and solve all her problems for her
I Will absolutely do what I can, However.
So I left All the Food I'd Just gotten with Sister's money by her feet, minus a few pieces of bread
I left the poncho and blanket as well, along with another blanket I had and a cool hat I'd found.
I carry my recyclables with me, so I had some empty plastic bottles and a cup.
I went into the gas station and asked for hot water and made her some tea and filled the water bottles with hot water to be heater/hand warmers.
I only had some change on me
As I was exiting the station a man handed me a dollar to, "get myself a coffee"
So I gave her all that too.
Then Flew away.
After I nearly swerved myself Dead into a Ditch I decided I Needed Rest so I pulled over to some random spot of not-brush that was not also someone's front yard and passed out horizontally for a few hours 'til the morning commuter traffic woke me up again
Packed myself back up and kept riding in the cool morning air
A man offers to buy me a coffee and with no Sister in Need around to Give Care to I accept
I chat with a few more folk passing through on their way to work and end up receiving a few more dollars as well.
I want to "beat money" so I'll always try to decline, unless I really do Need in that moment.
But I've been only spending at most like 33% of the money I gain on myself and the rest on others to help with their Needs
(Which then facilitates a positive connection and opens up the opportunity to educate, guide, and/or inspire)
I've never been more self-actualized in my life than by what I'm doing now.
Yes, for myself as well, I am traveling and taking care of myself and seeing places and meeting people and having this Amazing Fantastic Wondrous Experience.
My Dream
This Guy:
The Resources I Share with folk in Need sometimes really make a Huge difference
Every Single Day I encounter someone I Inspire. When I see this, I always take the Time to figure out where this person is and try to guide them in a way that will Help them.
Spreading Ayurvedic Knowledge and being a Real Living Role Model of how to Live Healthfully and Sustainably
Some people don't even know about Hydrogenated Oils at all!!
This is certainly one of The Good Fights
Lifting People Up
Nourishing Bodies, Minds, and Souls
Spreading Wisdom and Knowledge and Stories and Dreams
Sadness is Not Depression
"Dr. Burns, you seem to be claiming that distorted thinking is the only real cause of depression. But what if my problems are real?" This is one of the most frequent questions I encounter during lectures and workshops on cognitive therapy. Many patients raise it at the start of treatment, and list a number of "realistic" problems which they are convinced cause "realistic depressions." The most common are:
bankruptcy or poverty;
old age (some people also view infancy, childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, and mid-life periods of inevitable crisis);
permanent physical disability;;
terminal illness;
the tragic loss of a loved one
I'm sure you could add to the list. However, none of the above can lead to a "realistic depression." There is, in fact, no such thing! The real question is how to draw the line between desirable and undesirable negative feelings. What is the difference between "healthy sadness" and depression?
The distinction is simple. Sadness is a normal emotion created by realistic perceptions that describe a negative event involving loss or disappointment in an undistorted way.
Depression is an illness that always results from thoughts that are distorted in some way. For example, when a loved one dies, you validly think, "I lost him (or her), and I will miss the companionship and love we shared." The feelings such a thought creates are tender, realistic, and desirable. Your emotions will enhance your humanity and add depth to the meaning of life. In this way you gain from your loss.
In contrast, you might tell yourself, "I'll never again be happy because he(or she) died It's unfair!" These thoughts will trigger in you feelings of self-pity and hopelessness. Because these emotions are based entirely on distortion, they will defeat you.
Either depression or sadness can develop after a loss or a failure in your efforts to reach a goal of great personal importance. Sadness comes, however, without distortion. It involves a flow of feeling and therefore has a time limit. It never involves a lessening of your self-esteem. Depression is frozen—it tends to persist or recur indefinitely, and always involves loss of self-esteem.
When a depression clearly appears after an obvious stress, such as ill health, the death of a loved one, or a business reversal, it is sometimes called a "reactive depression." At times it can be more difficult to identify the stressful event that triggered the episode. Those depressions are often called "endogenous" because the symptoms seem to be generated entirely out of thin air. In both cases, however, the cause of the depression is identical—your distorted, negative thoughts. It has no adaptive or positive function whatsoever and represents one of the worst forms of suffering. Its only redeeming value is the growth you experience when you recover from it.
My point is this: When a genuinely negative event occurs, your emotions will be created exclusively by your thoughts and perceptions. Your feelings will result from the meaning you attach to what happens. A substantial portion of your suffering will be due to distortions in your thoughts. When you eliminate these distortions, you will find that coping with the "real problem" will become less painful."
~David D. Burns, M.D.
I brush by a lot of Darkness on The Road
My greatest Fear is any of You being Hurt.
When I Feel that Energy the first place My Mind goes is to one of You
And I'll stop and Pray for your Protection.
Health, Happiness, and Safety
Those are the usual "Big Three" I ask for for You.
Are my Fears caused by a distorted perception of reality?
Or are my Fears quite valid?
There are Demons and Beasts in Our Hearts
The difference between seeing Love as the Way to Peace and Harmony with our fellow Human—Brothers and Sisters.
Or seeing Love as a way to manipulate people to get what one wants from them.
It's not the way to happiness.
It might not always be the Easy Way
But it's definitely worse in the end if we only ever Care about ourselves.
We're all Learning and Maturing
Me, too.
So maybe my Fear that You'll be Corrupted is the distortion
But if You Needed to be Saved
You shouldn't ever Feel like there's no one You can call.
I'm Right Here.
Orange Trees.
See, this is The Way right here.
These folk have a huge orchard on the other side of their fence
Lots of land lots and lots of Oranges
But they planted a few trees on the outside of their fence
Where anybody can easily have an Orange
That water is reaching the outside tree too!
So they're literally losing nothing but providing food for anyone who Needs or Wants to stop.
Two thumbs-up from Me!
I asked if they were throwing away any fruit and ended up getting a whole bag!
Personally, I feel that for My Book is a worthy trade
(What do You think?)
Another verdant valley nestled in a bowl of mountains.
So the area is Prosperous and Beautiful
Proper irrigation, functioning government services, management of Resources, preservation of Law and Order
Still so much to Learn.
Which is natural.
Humans have a Lot of Needs...
Our Minds are Our Own
But Our Hearts are All Connected
"I wonder what kind of Tree this is..?"
Not a moment later, a lady driving by with her window down yelled out,
"That's called a Rubber Tree!!"
I didn't actually have any of the fruit I got from the road side stand
Or the bread I withheld from Sister.
I was looking for a spot in Santa Maria to sit down and have something to eat.
Then I rode by a lady who was in tears
I stopped and asked her if she needed any help but she didn't speak English
So I Just said, "In Jesus' Name!" and handed her the bread and fruit
There goes my breakfast/lunch lol
I Can Help more than others because of My Technique and Position
Giving my Last Dollar to a Man means a lot more than giving him a hundred dollars if I had millions.As does taking the time to Talk to a Man and See a Brother and try to help guide him on his path, rather than just throwing money/resources at him.
Sometimes I don't have the Time/Energy for a Talk
Sometimes I don't have any money/resources at all
(When I have neither than I Need help!)
But if I See an opportunity to Help someone in some way
I always try to do so.
Sometimes I slip up and Fail
But I always Try.
I heard Ojai was a cool town from a Brother in Sedona so I definitely want to see it
It's on the other side of one of these mountains
Then there's some more climbing through Casitas Pass around the Lake but after that Just one final stretch of wooded uphill
Then it's all downhill and a straight path to Santa Barbara!
I Just know what Direction it's in
I know how to move towards it now
And I know it's Possible.
I know it's Possible because I'll Build it with My Own Hands.
I try to hold on to the good qualities of my Young self
Curiosity and Wonder and as Pure a Care as I can summon for anyone I might meet
But I'm a Man
I Have Work to Do.
I Just Remember What's Important.
I don't worry about any Nonsense floating around within.
Barely anything to eat
It doesn't matter
The Coast
is Right
THERE!
A gift on the side of the Road!
I call it my Monkey King Glove!
Climbing through these gorgeous mountains I came upon Thomas Aquinas College
I figured their campus would be Exceptionally Beautiful
Even though I was All Business about reaching the coast in Time
I figured I could spare a stop here and maybe have some nourishment if I'm lucky
(And I did get permission to use these photos)
So Thanks for that as well!
On Earth
Safe and Beautiful
Sacred and Pristine
A Paradise
Based not on Pleasure and Consumption
But Upon something Higher
Worship and Study
An Open Heart and an Open Mind
A Sanctuary
Obviously
Bastion will be a little different
As the Goal there will be to Survive with the Food We Grow out of the ground
Rather than the tuition from Students
There is always a Pathway to Peace
People must be committed to it.
When there is War
Everyone Loses.
There really should be no reason to War.
I plan to have areas of Bastion that are Fortified and prepared to Defend against small-scale attacks
But most of the space will be open
I want to welcome visitors and travelers and spread a message of Peace and Compassion and Unity
In general, I've always agreed with Theodore Roosevelt,
"Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far."
Besides various Fruits (especially mulberries!)
I want the main crops to be Peanuts, Sunflowers, and Oats
I'm sure there'll be a few chickens and eventually some other animals too
The Peanuts and Sunflower Seeds will of course be used to jar My Custom Nut-Butter Mixtures!
JUSTICE PEANUT BUTTER!
THE PEANUT BUTTER YOU DESERVE!!!
Oats, dried mulberries and other fruits, and spices etcetera we'd have to order, would go into various recipes I've been developing over the past 10,000 miles.
Just recently started the Instagram for it:
https://www.instagram.com/justice_peanutbutter/
So I plan to have a road-side stand and stand at the local Farmer's Market for that, along with jellies/jams/preserves, and my Bamboo Art of course.
Once the infrastructure is all built
(Solar Panels, Water collection/filtration/drainage/irrigation systems, waste management, etcetera)
I can't imagine what gains I make with what I produce not being "Enough"
It was absolutely Beautiful within
That seems to me to be the Catholic Tradition
Very Ornate Architecture and Design
I didn't take any photos inside as that feels partially disrespectful to me.
I was thinking of building the DoJo and the Place of Worship in one building
As I find Physical Training to be (potentially) Spiritual
I guess the building would be called a Shrine
But I don't Want to ride in circles forever
I Want to Build!
And Create my own Sacred Space on this World.
If I am skilled enough at gathering and preserving resources
And at building and maintain structures
And everything else that goes into Creating and Holding a Space
I Want to build a Woman's Shelter at Bastion as well.
I've met many Sisters on The Road
Some with children
That don't have anywhere to go.
Some are Loving their Adventure
But many are Just searching for a Safe Place.
So from what I've seen
that Safe Place is what is Needed in this World.
After reading all this, what do You think?
Do I belong derelict on the Streets?
Is that where I'm heading?
Is that what I deserve?
Does anyone?
Or do I belong in High Academia with Comfortable Opulence?
I don't Need that
But I do miss my college days Deeply.
I had Community
I had Everything I Needed
Though, I was Immature.
I was Incomplete.
I still am, maybe
But I've definitely grown so so much since then.
And I Appreciate what it means to have those things on a much Deeper level that was impossible for me to Feel then.
That's part of the Completeness.
I find it comes down to the person I'm speaking to.
Whether they hone in on the bag of "trash" and maybe the random things I happen to have picked up off the side of the Road recently, or see the Work the Struggle the Strength the Skill it takes
Well that decides how they see me.
And the decides how they treat me.
It's definitely a different experience if one has all the funds one needs to purchase all of ones' Needs or Wants wherever there is a store that has them
And if Ya don't have a dollar on ya and gotta figure out how to fill the hole in the bottom of your shoe yourself.
Truly, if I'm alone, I don't care where I am.
I don't Need things.
Being "Homeless" is waaaay more fun than having a bunch of things sacrificing 8+ hours of my day for it (I'd say this is true for me because I am not struggling with addiction to any substance (besides peanut butter) and take pretty good care of myself and my gear so I am strong and healthy and just about always have what I Need. And, I'm not "Homeless." I'm Adventuring).
So I Love what I'm doing I Love this Life I'm Living.
I Just Do whatever I want All the Time!
But, I don't Want to simply eat and leisure all the time.
I don't Just Want Pleasure.
I Want Struggle and Strife
I Want Challenge and Growth
I Want to Work
to Earn
A Good Beautiful Future
So Bastion isn't Just for Me
It's for You!
All of You.
But You are for Me.
Because that's All that I Need.
I Need to Gain what I'm Working and Praying and Hoping for.
I Need Family
I Need Love
I Need that Beautiful Future.
And I Need All of You to Be Happy, Healthy, and Safe.
I guess that's more up to You than to Me
But I can at least Create a Space where You'll know You can always go to
Another Home for You.
That Need Has to Be The Answer
To All The Darkness
To All The Questions
To All The EVERYTHING that Weighs on Us All
and his righteousness;
and all these things shall be added unto you.
~Matthew 6:33
I Hope You'll See it
Your Home
And Know that it's Yours
And Know that You're Free to come and Go as You please and if You ever Need Shelter if You ever Need a Space to Rest or Heal or whatever it'll Be to You
If You ever Want to See Me...
Why Do You think I'm so motivated to Do This?
This Dream arose within from YOU!
The Goodness and The Love You Gave Me
To Want and Choose that Goodness Above any other Lower Pursuit
It's My Way.
At least
It is My Way.
I parked my bike climbed through the ditch and had a few that were on the ground.
Is it stealing to eat some of the ones on the ground?
Trespassing, maybe. But stealing? I don't think so.
I at least don't want to live in a world where a hungry traveler may not eat some food on the ground before it rots.
I guess I'm removing some nutrients from returning to their Earth and I guess I'm stealing from the buggos and bacteria that would otherwise eat the Orange...
But to say that that's illegal or immoral and is stealing seems Just Dumb.
Like most pretty cool towns I've been encountering
It has or is slowly becoming gentrified
Which isn't entirely a bad thing
But this generally pushes folk without resources out of the area as prices for everything from Rent to Food increase
And if You haven't learned from Reading so far
(It's one of the themes of This Book)
Whether One has Money/Resources/Things or Not is No Measure of the Quality of Ones' Character or the Kindness of their Heart
That's a pretty good measurement of a lack of generosity.
And that's how these towns will be defined in the future.
If the affluent folk that come to inhabit them reinvest into their community to help those in Need and provide essential Services (Food Banks. Community Gardens. Housing Programs. Access to Knowledge (ala Library). Parks. Churches. Community Centers).
If these Services are in place supporting peoples' Basic Needs and bring folks Together then the community is going to thrive.
The Community is going to Thrive if People Care about it.
If People don't Care about their Community
(Made up by the People who Live there)
and the individuals who are Holding the Resources don't Share and at least Help those in Need with their Basic Needs
Well I wouldn't Want to Live there.
Would You?
That's what's Cool
That's what People are seeking
That Connection is what we're all seeking
That Connection is what Inspires Art
That Connection is Beauty
That Connection is Love
I was pretty much out of Food and money
Always looking for a friend
I Just Needed some sustenance to Keep Going
Some Energy
No Time to Sleep or Play
Most folk walking around, going about their business, mostly going to the various restaurants
Not a one I could afford
I made my way down the Main Street trying to talk to people
I met a Brother who gave me a dollar and suggested a cheap place to eat that was actually closed
Otherwise, no one would talk to me.
Some folk Just prefer to keep to themselves or Just in their own World
Not Open to Connection
Especially not from a disheveled potentially "Homeless" middle-aged dude on a bicycle.
I soon found a Sister who was living on The Streets
She wasn't Closed Off and we chatted and I soon asked her, "Is there anything You Need, Sister?"
She Needed some AAA batteries for her radio
(Which was pretty important to her)
So I gave her two extra ones I had.
All She had were two bags of things
But when she learned I was hungry she Gave me her Salad without hesitating
I of course did not want to take this woman's small amount of supplies
But it was also what I Needed and would have been rude to not accept.
And, in accepting her food, I accept her, and this facilitates a positive interaction.
The Sharing of Food Helps Build and Create Connection.
So I ate a little less than half of it, sprinkling my turmeric on it while sharing with her ayurvedic knowledge and advice on her Health and how to take care of herself, such as the health benefits of turmeric and how to painlessly add it to your diet!
She helped me find an outlet so I could charge my light/camera/mp3 player.
Soon a Brother came by who seemed a bit unsure of me around this Sister
I noticed his unease and assured him of my High Intentions
We all chatted for a bit and I tried my best to Guide and Inspire them while also getting ready for my Final Ride.
Someone came by and handed us all several bottles of alcohol, none of which I partook of
Sister got a bit intoxicated and became very upset.
She began crying and screaming towards the Sky
"WHY'D YOU DO THAT TO MY SISTERRRRRRRR"
All I could do was guide the Brother there as best I could how best to Give Care
"Respect Your Sister!"
As I was leaving them, I handed Sister the few dollars I had and instructed her to make healthy choices with it
then dropped my vial of turmeric into her bag when they weren't looking.
Sometimes along this Journey
It has felt like the Weight of The World is on my shoulders
As I've grown and become a Stronger and Wiser person
I've come to Understand that This World really is In Our Hands
I Believe in the Difference I've made
And I Believe the Difference I can still make in this World is Profound.
Like how having a Light on the back of Your Bike at Night saves Your Life and ya don't even know it
I have No Idea the effects my Teachings and Gifts and Art and Stories from my Self have had on People
I have No Idea.
But I Hope that it has been Positive
And I Truly Believe that it has been
Including My World
The Universe of People within My Heart that are a part of Me that I Care Deeply for that I Want with Me in My Life
The People that I Love.
I know that Everyone is Cheering for Me!
I know that Everyone Wants to See Me make it!
And I don't know who's reading this
Who ever will.
But I felt so many people there with me during this ride.
So much Energy carrying me forward.
I thought of My Family and so so so many people I've met across this country
And All I could See were their faces Cheering me on
Encouraging me to not Stop
Swinging their arms to the Sky
Hollering shouts of Joy and Praise and Applause
as I dodged cars in the Dark climbing this Final Mountain.
All the Darkness was beneath Me.
In that moment None of it mattered
None of it could reach Me or My Soul
My Heart was so Full of Love and Support
Just another man's story of coming of age and pursuing his Dream
Just Me.
But this was My Story
My Dream
And it was Right There.
The Old Me returned
Before My Heart Tore
The Me that Believed in Love Endlessly and couldn't possibly be stopped
I'm actually falling asleep on my handlebars
Like, waking up from feeling myself unbalancing and falling
And catching myself with a swerve.
Pretty Exhausted.
I've never pushed myself to this level of fatigue before...
...but I'm almost there.
